Activism in support of fathers

Activism in support of fathers

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Comment: integral sex and gender studies

Comment: integral sex and gender studies

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Heroic Father Story

Heroic Father Story

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Study: Women wield the power in marriage

Study: Women wield the power in marriage

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Gift of authentic power: Integral masculinity for 21st century

Gift of authentic power: Integral masculinity for 21st century

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Study: Women Don't Talk More Than Guys

Study: Women Don't Talk More Than Guys

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Let's be frank: neither men nor women have collectively oppressed one another

The notion of oppression of men over women or women over men is ideological, not factual.  Minority groups have been oppressed: e.g. LGBT individuals have been oppressed; aboriginal groups have been oppressed, but neither women nor men have oppressed each other.  At least not in North American or Western/Northern European contexts.  History has oppressed both.

I have had too much ideology in my life, not enough empiricism, broadly defined, so I won't be buying into any more ideology.  In childhood, the ideology saw women as "bad", in adulthood up to this point, it has been that men are "bad".  Both positions fall short of the requirements of mutuality, of love even, between the sexes.

What I'd like to study in completing a multidisciplinary PhD

I don't know if getting a PhD is in the cards for me at this point in my life.  If I am going to get one, however, I think it will be a multi or inter disciplinary one, for sure.  Here is the topic I would be most interested in studying:  What are the socio-cultural, psycho-spiritual and even neurobiological perspectives that contribute to understanding how we have arrived at the current division between the sexes in higher education, and how can we move forward from here towards a truly equitable, even integrated state between the sexes in higher educational contexts.

6:40 pm -- parenting day is now 12 hours

It's 6:40pm and I'm still in the midst of my day of parenting.  Was up at 6:30 to make breakfast. My spouse left for work at 8:30 am, was home briefly to breastfeed the young one, and is now out at sports practice. 

It's time to dig deep in order to stay the course to end of day.

Mindful Parenting

Parenting can be a source of personal growth if done intentionally.  Sometimes I am actually able to do this!  When I notice that my mind has wandered into internal pre-occupation with my ongoing inner monologue, I bring it back to being present with my children and the associated tasks such as vacuuming, sweeping, laundry, making snacks and meals, and so forth.  When parenting in this way, it becomes a spiritual path.

There is an attachment dimension to parenting, also critical, that I can discuss in a future post.

Where have all the males gone?

Just sorting through some papers on my desk this morning, and noting these statistics from a couple of years ago for the University of British Columbia Medical Program:  43% male; 57% female.  Again, facts speak for themselves about the shift in our culture.

Homeless Deaths in British Columbia: More Males Die

Here are latest stats fro B.C. Coroners Service:

• Total deaths of homeless people between 2006 and 2008: 96
• Average age of dead homeless people 45
• Number of males: 77
• Number of females: 19
• Death by accidents: 40
• Death by natural causes: 26
• Deaths by suicide: 7
• Homeless deaths in Vancouver: 21
• Homeless deaths in Victoria: 18
• Homeless deaths in Surrey: 6

Father Involvement effort in Britain

Came across this interesting looking initiative from Great Britain, promoting father involvement in the early years of children's lives.  To be successful, such initiatives will need to take into consideration the often intense pressure men feel to be breadwinners.  In other words, many men are less involved with their children than they would like to be, but they experience themselves as having "no choice" given their role as protector/provider.

EFT

Doing some reading and practicing of EFT...my hunch is that there is something to it...but this statement is Gary Craig's manual is definitely wrong:
"But in general conventional psychotherapy is among the
slowest, most ineffective sciences on earth." That's straight marketing ploy on his part -- attacking the competition to make room for what he is selling. In fact, the evidence for psychotherapy's effectiveness is pretty good.   The book below, although now 10 years old, is a great place to read about psychotherapy effectiveness research, sometimes called "common factors" research.

check out malestudies.org

Launch of male studies in the academic sphere...long awaiting and much needed!!!

Clara Hughes a Canadian Hero

I think Clara Hughes is a true Canadian Hero. Not only has she been able to kick some serious butt athletically, but she has also 1) donated her winnings to help at-risk youth here in Vancouver (Take a Hike Foundation), and, 2) been willing to come out and say, hey, we have gender equity in sport in canada, and let's not forget the headway that some of them men's teams have made as well...

Only adult male in the room again

I took my 4 year old daughter and 20 month old son to story-time this morning.  I was the only adult male in the room.  So on the one hand, I can see myself as privileged to have this kind of time with my children.  I hope they benefit, and they likely will if I can stay emotionally present with them.  But there's the rub -- I don't feel really like I have chosen to be in this situation.  Warren Farrell talks about how men have fewer choices in society than do women, and this has indeed been my experience. 

So to the extent I don't feel like I am choosing this experience, then I also struggle to be present emotionally. 

Not much has changed...

I picked up my 4 year old daughter from preschool today. One father -- me -- and about a dozen mothers and/or nannies...felt pretty invisible, I must say.

Not much has changed, it seems!

Good news? Bad news? Who knows.